“Explicit disagreement is better than implicit understanding.”
~Douglas Stone, “Thanks For The Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well“
I have so many books on my reading list that it’s almost overwhelming. So I love it when we can bring someone into EMF to talk to us. A recent person was Elaine Lin, an amazingly brilliant woman to talk about the book, “Thanks For The Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well.” Too long to encapsulate here, it’s a book about giving, and as important, receiving feedback.
A part of the presentation was about being an ACE. Which means three kinds of the feedback you can give: appreciation, coaching, and evaluating.
Appreciation is showing that your teammate knows you notice them and that they matter. Coaching is helping them improve, and Evaluation lets them know where they stand.
Two things struck me about this idea.
First, that we’re not exactly rock stars when it comes to appreciation. Letting people know you notice and value them on an ongoing basis. Mostly we’re so busy we forget, but also because we’re not intentional about giving appreciation.
Second is that the authors separate coaching and evaluation. Typically I’ve seen them as linked. “Here’s how you’re doing and here’s how to fix it.” But it makes more sense to unlink them so they’re two different parts of the employee discussion. I think it’s better to help them get better at one point, and then evaluate them at another. Focus is always a good thing. I know that I’d be more open if they were separated for me in my performance conversations.
Elaine’s presentation moved the book up my priority list, and I expect it to help me both give and receive performance feedback.